Bounty Head Bebop Comlink
Play By Post Section => Forum Games => Topic started by: Arthesul on November 22, 2014, 09:10:20 pm
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The year is 1925. A certain Alcohol trafficker threw a masquerade on his yacht off the coast of California, and people of considerable wealth from all over the world came to be there... For varying reasons. The host was shot in the ballroom late one night by a mafia hitman, and as a precautionary measure, the security guards locked up all the passenger wings. Your characters are currently stuck there, and will be stuck there until the boat reaches the shore. Might as well make the best of your time here... And kill the mafia before they kill you.
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The metaphorically bear of a man, Parma Shawn, practically snarls at the group in a posh tone of voice.
"My my my, it looks like someone has just been murdered! And not just some random poor lowerclassman whose purpose was equivalent to the steak I ate during the lovely dinner, to satiate me, but our host! How simply astonishing!"
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Zack O. Potatoes leans forward in his chair and speaks up. “Indeed, Parma. Only a detested parasite could betray our host’s hospitality and do something like this.” He pauses, then looks around at the other guests. “The killer could be in our midst. Are we really any safer locked up in here without the guards?”
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"I should say not," Don Apparel, A balding 40 year old man with loud red suspenders and a well-kempt beard says, as he draws heavily from his cigarette on a long extender. "If the killer is still here in the room with us, that is..."
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Lisa Newcarr shivers and pulls her silk scarf more snugly around herself, but her bright blue eyes look lifeless and resigned as she says sadly, "The most well guarded man on board has been assassinated. Our chances of getting off the ship alive look pretty bleak unless we stay calm and work together."
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Riley trembles, her brilliant necklace of diamond and sapphire scintillating in the light. "I'm scared," she whispers. "What can we do against a killer?"
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"There are but two option, my dear. We could wait, and hope the mafioso decides against killing again, or WE COULD BRUTALLY MURDER RANDOM PEOPLE VIA LYNCHING, ahem, rather, we must attempt to discover the identity of the villain, and eliminate him with the power of the many!" Parma states, sophisticatedly.
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"Hear Here, my good man," Don agrees. "Or is it 'here hear'?..."
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"That is an risky course of action," Lisa replies flatly with little inflection in her tone of voice. "If the culprits are among us, they will use this to sow distrust and murder more innocents. You are correct that this may be our only defense, but random lynchings are more likely to be counterproductive. We need a logical plan to trap the true culprits, or force them into non-action."
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Riley moves closer to Parma. "I don't know if it's your rugged, manly confidence, or your luxurious mustache, but I feel like I can trust you."
She looks at Lisa with thinly veiled dislike.
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Parma Shawn simply states
"MUSTACHE" with the ferocity of a wild animal and the sophistication of a gentleman.
"However, I detest the ideals of the ever growing idealistic youth gathering movements. Time is but wasted once, just like the steak I had ordered rare, but came well done."
" I ORDERED MY MEAT RARE DAMN YOU." The man then shouts out in anger.
"Ahem, but yes, as I was saying, we must decisfully decide on a sophisticated methodlogy to dispose of those of us whom are placed under scrutiny. We must, while my heart longs for the dictatorship, allow for a vote of the many."
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"I'm sure it's all just a plot to capture me and extort my family for our wealth." Gary states offhandedly as he checks his golden pocket watch.
He pauses for a moment to look at Riley.
"I must say, that is a most beautiful necklace you have Miss Riley..." He gives a charming smile and a wink at her direction.
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"Oh yes, most esquisite. THIEF." The man states, as he draws a magical symbol in the air.
#LYNCHGARY
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"Thief? What are you talking about? I'm already rich why would I steal from you?" Gary asks in a surprised voice as he ducks behind the chair he was sitting in.
"Somebody help me stop this madman!" He yells to the other passengers.
#Lynch ParmaShawn
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"Arrgh! I... I... can't", sputters Don Apparel - visibly choking as his face flushes red. "It's some sort of evil voodoo spell!" *cough! "Compelling me..." *wheeze! "to obey the master!" *gag, sputter, hack!
#LYNCHGARY
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"Your manner of actions and speech are illogical," Lisa says, blinking slowly. "I am unconvinced by this theatrical production."
#Lynch Parma Shawn
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"If anything, his evil magic proves that we must stop him before it's too late!" Gary says as he continues to hide behind the chair.
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"Parma, Greg?" says Riley thoughtfully. "I'll side with whichever of you proposes to me."
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Don Apparel slumps down in a chair, visibly shaken and places a new cig in his long extender. When he hears Riley suggest a proposal, he quickly recovers.
"Hey toots," he says, completely forgetting about the lynching business, "if you want someone with class, you can't do better than me!"
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"Are you proposing to me?" says Riley.
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"Sure, why not?" Don replies with a grin. "We can set a date after we get to know each other a little better."
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Riley throws her arms around him. "Oh, darling, you've made me the happiest woman in the world!"
Her expression turns serious. "I have something to confess, beloved. I know the true identity of one of the other guests. Gary is none other than. . . my brother Jim Katz!
And. . . I know he's trying to steal my fortune. So maybe we should lynch him! But. . . If he's my brother, can he really be a mafioso?"
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"Erm, if the name don't fit, we must aquit?" Parma Shawn states.
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"A man that would propose to a woman to gain her lynch vote...Calculating...Conclusion: more suspicious than charlatan street magician. Don Apparell, your behavior is alarming," Lisa states factually, changing her vote.
#Lynch Don Apparel
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"No!! What God has. . . okay will join together, let no emotionless, scarf-wearing floozy put asunder!!"
#Lynch Lisa
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Lisa blinks mechanically at Riley once, her expression slightly confused, "Your actions are illogical. You have chosen to ignore suspicious behavior in favor of unfounded opinion. Conclusion: less suspicious than manipulative marriage proposal. Low threat, merely unwise."
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The tension in the air is palpable, so palpable, in fact, that one could cut it out of the air with a butter knife. In fact, the boat's inhabitants are now covered with a thick, wet layer of tension as it condenses out of the air from the temperature difference caused by weird sea-air physics. Who will be killed today, if anyone?
1 vote Gary/Fireplay
2 votes Parma/Aman
3 votes Lisa/Quiller
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"Oh dear," Don says thoughtfully, "I simply can't suggest a lynching for my future brother-in-law, scurrilous scoundrel or not..."
Then looking at Riley, he whispers, "You have broken the spell."
#CHANGE VOTE LYNCH LISA
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"Hmph. we must understand that the only reason Mr. Katz, was it? Is still alive, is due to his relationship to whatshername Katz. But... Didn't she ask that Katz to propose to the other Katz? This seems most peculiar. Most peculiar indeedly."
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"It is clear that Parma Shawn is mafia. He's spoken of nothing but violence and death upon us all," says Zack. He turns to Parma. "Thou art more deep damned than Prince Lucifer, for we shall lynch thee before the clock strikes midnight!" he proclaims, his whole demeanour giving off contempt for the man.
Lynch Parma Shawn
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"Your argument is valid," Lisa intones in response to Zack's words. "Levels of suspicion: Don Apparel - marriage proposal in exchange for lynch vote - high. Parma Shawn - strange attempts at occult and homicidal leanings - high. Gary Dose - possible alias and inheritance squabble - medium. Riley Mup - illogical decision making and irresponsible voting - medium. Other - undecided, insufficient information."
"Targets proposed for immediate removal - Don Apparell, Parma Shawn. Accounting for majority vote mechanics. Calculating...reverting vote to Parma Shawn."
#Lynch Parma Shawn
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"I am as innocent as a butterfly that eats meat!" Parma Shawn states.
#lynchLisa
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The accusations become too much for Parma, and, after a brief, thought and reason-filled pause, he slaps Zack/Sonemine in the face.
Zack falls to the ground, bleeding and screaming, for some odd reason. Closer inspection reveals that this is because Parma has claws, and an arm as tough as any tree trunk. Parma, tired of standing on two legs, lets himself fall forward onto his forelegs and crush Zack's ribcage into smithereens. Parma Shawn was a grizzly bear wearing a hat and a fake mustache this whole time!? Wow, who knew!?
The group hastily ties the bear down to a stake at the corner of the room, and barely manages to take Zack's torn-off arm out of its mouth.
Closer inspection of Zack's room reveals:
Zack's real name was Olaf Romanov. He was a mafioso, and a shameless fish-thief!
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"Wow, I'm glad I didn't marry him (or my brother,)" says Riley.
"But seriously, lets kill the robot! She agreed with zach, said his conclusions were logical, and he was mafia!!"
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"Ha ha! I knew it!" Parma Shawn shouts out in glory.
"NOW LET ME OUT OF THIS FARKING CAGE OR I WILL BEAT YOU ALL TO THE GROUND. I mean, I will pleasantly treat you to a lovely discourse about animal cruelty."
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Oh, dammitdammitdammit... Major miscalculation on my part. Sorry, Quiller.
In a burst of Mob fury, the group shoves Parma Shawn out of a Porthole, for some odd reason. The vote seemed to be going in Lisa's direction until this point... Because bears do not swim for long distances, it is safe to assume that Parma will die...
Parma Shawn was a Bear, his real name was Marko Behrkofski. And he was Town.
Night phase, PM me your actions if you have a night-time role. Roleplay out your dreams or continue your debates in the OOC if it takes a long time.
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You locked the ooc.
Why are you apologizing to Quiller?
Wasn't the vote tied btw Parma & Lisa? Why did Parma get killed?
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Well that was an interesting lynch session.
Question: Are we allowed to PM other players at all? ;D
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Before she goes to bed, Riley sits down to write her last will and testament.
If I am found dead:
Don: The three hours and fifty-four minutes I spent engaged to you were the happiest of my life. Thank you for making my wish come true.
Gary/Jim: Even though you are my brother, and probably planning to murder me for my fortune, you seem like a really nice guy. It's a shame it had to turn out this way. I would have shared the money with you.
Parma: I know you're not really dead. Bears can swim. I wouldn't have regretted marrying you.
Lisa: You bitch.
Love, Riley
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You locked the ooc.
Why are you apologizing to Quiller?
Wasn't the vote tied btw Parma & Lisa? Why did Parma get killed?
That wasn't me. If it was, it wasn't on purpose. Until then, I blame the Stealth Locker.
I was apologizing to Quiller because Zack's murder and subsequent loss of vote meant that Quiller would have been lynched, and Quiller was lynched up until I changed it... I remembered that one of the people voting had a special ability. Their votes are worth two, because they can influence the subconscious.
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Day 2
The group wakes up the next morning, and once the head-counting begins, they may notice someone might just be missing...
Garroted to death in her own bed was the joyful, blushing bride-to-be! Almost as if jinxed...
Riley Mup was once Jane Katz, who was Town.
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"WHA?!? You vile bastards! You took from me the only woman I ever loved!"
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v651/BerkaZerka/Other/DarthVaderNooo_zpsb3669a86.jpg)
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If I am found dead:
Don: The three hours and fifty-four minutes I spent engaged to you were the happiest of my life. Thank you for making my wish come true.
Gary/Jim: Even though you are my brother, and probably planning to murder me for my fortune, you seem like a really nice guy. It's a shame it had to turn out this way. I would have shared the money with you.
Parma: I know you're not really dead. Bears can swim. I wouldn't have regretted marrying you.
Lisa: You bitch.
Love, Riley
*sniff *sob *blubber
"I'll cherish this note forever!"
*BAWL!!! :'(
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"My... sister is dead? Well, that is quite unpleasant. I'll make sure she gets a good funeral when we get off this boat."
Jim bows his head in mourning for a moment before turning to Lisa.
"So, would you like to marry me?"
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Lisa's eyes widen slightly - just an infinitesimal fraction of an inch, small enough to be just a trick of the light - but it's the first sign of emotion she's shown so far.
"I...do not understand. I am not..." She trails off, and though her expression and tone of voice do not change, she tugs up her scarf and gives off the distinct impression of being flustered. Only after a long pause does she almost bashfully tug the scarf back down.
"You are not unattractive," she intones slowly. "Nor do I believe you suspicious or callous enough to be your sister's murderer. If we survive this ordeal, I would not be...adverse to the idea."
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"WHAT?!?" Don blusters in disbelief - "You are asking the one who obviously killed your sister to marry you?!?"
"She's cold. She's calculating. She's the evil Spock with boobs instead of a goatee!"
"...Unless you killed her for the family fortune you cad!"
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Lisa tilts her head slightly, saying, "Calculating most likely scenario. Benefits of killing Jane Katz for Gary/Jim - greatly increased suspicion and emotional compromise. Benefits of killing Jane Katz for myself - greatly increased suspicion. Benefits of killing Jane Katz for Don Apparel - decreased suspicion and ability to frame both remaining people. The one who benefits the most from Jane Katz's death is Don Apparel. Percentages of being mafia - Jim Katz, 11%. Lisa Newcarr, 29%. Don Apparel 60%. Proposing elimination of Don Apparel."
#Lynch Don Apparel
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"PLRRRRrrrrRRRRBBH!" Don states most eloquently.
"I can logic too ya know," he boasts, "Most to gain from killing Don: Don 0%; Jim 2%; Strange Man Under my Bed 33%; That Russian bear with the fine fine mustache 11%; LISA 40012%"
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PS -
#LYNCH LISA
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"BROs before HOs! BROs before HOs!" Don Chants to Jim...
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"Now, is that anyway to respect the future Lady of the Katz family? You should be ashamed of yourself. If you do not retract your Lynch threat on her then I shall have to support your Lynch."
Jim says to Don before walking over to Lisa and attempting to wrap his arm around her.
"You don't mind dear do you?"
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Lisa doesn't visibly react to Jim's draping an arm around her, but she doesn't shy away either. She says evenly, "I do not mind. Your Actions are supportive. I am..." she pauses, as if searching for the right word. "...touched by your willingness to defend me."
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"Well, it seems that you hold all the cards, as well as the family fortune now, Jim..." Don says, after letting his 'Bros before Hos' chant die down slowly...
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Jim nods to the statement before speaking up.
"Alright, so since I'd rather not lynch everybody here to ensure my.. our survival. I suggest everybody sleeps in this room tonight so nobody can try to kill anyone in their sleep."
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"Uhm... that didn't seem to work out too well last night..." Don points out.
"But wait a minute. Here are some new thoughts on the subject." Don continues.
"Lisa, I'm sorry I thought you were the Mafioso. It's just that 'what's her name' was garroted in her sleep and I note you wear a scarf. A scarf one could use to choke another to death in their sleep with."
"So yeah, not going to let either of you out of my sight tonight..."
"See where I'm going with this Jim?"
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Wait, there's only the three of you left, right?... Damn, sorry I'm late.
As the tensions rise, the future Mr. and Mrs. Katz bring themselves to throw Don out of one of the portholes. It seems Lisa's vote was worth 2 for its convincingness, since her artificial pheromones were placed on overdrive. Inspection of his room reveals that Don was, in fact, Clarence Smitch, a mafia member and well-known advocate for Communism in Mother Russia!
---Epilogue---
The guards declared the Town's victory when the boat landed, but nobody knew what the fark they were talking about because there was no town to speak of. Lauded as heroes for sticking a wrench in the Great Russian Mafia of Colorado's operations by killing two high-ranking members, Lisa and Jim broke the good news to Jim's multi-Kajillionaire dad, who wrote them into his will before, unfortunately, dying violently years later while Mr. and Mrs. Katz were on their post-honeymoon-honeymoon in Tortuga.
It was on this trip that a beautiful romantic comedy took place and Lisa learned how to feel emotions on an almost human level, but it was later discovered, when they tried doing what most people do on their first honeymoon for the first time, that Lisa was, in fact, a robot. They sent a petition to the FBI branch that built her to make her anatomically correct, and after much confusion, Lisa 2.0 was finally able to start a happy family with horrific cyborg children.
Clarence Smitch was saved, through some miracle, and realizing the fault in his ways, he abandoned his mafia connections entirely and became a Rasputin-esque Russian Commie Wizard as soon as he washed up on the shores of Easter Island, where he and the Comrade heads lived in perfect Anti-Capitalist harmony.
Marko Behrkofski also washed up on an island, where he terrorized the bird population of Maui until he was erroneously captured by Bigfoot Hunters and put in a Zoo by the humane society. After the local populace realized he could talk and walk like any normal human, he was released into the world of people again, and allowed to go on another boat trip. It is said, that because talking bears are usually immortal unless killed by other organisms, that Marko Behrkofski roams the wilds of Yellowstone to this day, robbing countless visitors of their steak and pic-a-nic baskets.
Lisa, murdered by her own fiancee, furiously haunted the Communist Wizard. This led to several Amnesia-like sequences before Clarence was able to apologize enough to stop her murder attempts. Begrudingly, she spent the rest of Clarence's life as his necromancy familiar.
It is said that Olaf was Patient Zero for the Mini-Apocalypse of 1945, when Nazi scientists in Latvia brought his rotted remains in to test their regeneration serum on him and see if he came back. He did, but he was a Farking Zombie. Luckily, George Patton was there to kill them all before shit got serious... He didn't even have an army with him at the time...
Frijoles:
Lisa was created by the FBI to rid the US of the Red Menace before the Cold War even began. Unfortunately, she lost her gun in customs and had no other combat programming, so she had to lynch Clarence the Communist instead. This was made easier for her because her vote was worth two, and she was instrumental in his death, the deciding vote, in fact. For this, Quiller earns 40 frijoles.
Olaf wanted to become an actor and stage designer when he next got a break from his job as a Mafia book-cooker and evidence-bungler. In his efforts to become a better actor, he used 3 Shakespearean insults, earning 31tev/Sonemine 20 frijoles
Jane Katz wanted to get married in order to get into her father's will as firstborn, because Women's rights wasn't exactly a high priority back then. She dodged the incest trap I placed like Keanu Reeves dodges speeding bullets, and she was proposed to a fine member of the human species. Sethaniel gets 40 frijoles.
Jim Katz wanted to get married to prove to his father that he was responsible enough to be his heir. He too, dodged the incest trap, and subsequently married a young lady with a heart of gold... Literally... They both lived to the end of the game, and Jim never voted for her in a lynch, earning Fireplay a cool 50 frijoles.
Clarence Smitch, being a Communist, wanted to kill the Russian oligarch Marko Behrkofski so that the Revolution might be in full swing, but knowing that Marko was a man of Bear-like strength, he had to be lynched. Unfortunately, Clarence never even voted for Parma, Berka recieves no frijoles. D:
Marko Behrkofski, being a Russian oligarch, owned a very big and beautiful estate, with a river running through it. It was known worldwide for its bountiful salmon, one of which a poaching Mafia member named Olaf Romanov stole with impunity, the bastard. Luckily, the first person that Marko killed was Olaf himself. Completing this and another bonus goal, has earned Aman 40 frijoles.
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Well, thanks for running the game. It was pretty funny and I think I ended up being more active in it than you haha!
That said, I have to wonder who Fireplay would have voted to lynch, had we been given a little more play time. Had he sided with me, we would have had a tie no?
But anyway, nice little game. Now Run a Pittsburgh 68 (http://www.bountyheadbebop.com/forum/index.php?topic=763.0) game for us you Commie Mutant Traitor! ;D
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Hwah!? Run Pittsburgh 68? Berka, I think you're severely overestimating the size and capacity of my brain....
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I only got to use two Shakespearean insults, so I don't deserve any frijoles. :P
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I'll pay you half price for your undeserved frijoles (that would be one cinnamon twist per frijole).
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I think I would have stuck with Lisa to the end, hoping she wouldn't murder me afterwards. lol
Also, robot children mean the Katz family line is now technically immortal. ;D
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LOL, I was pretty much hoping the same thing.
For your bonus goal, you were pretty much stuck with choosing between an android or your own sister. Then again, a brother, two mafia members or an anthropomorphic bear if you wanted to expand your options. Pretty grim prospects no matter which of the Katz siblings you were, though I think Jim got the better deal in the end XD
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Xd if you hadn't said your name was Jim, I'd have tried to marry you.
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Xd if you hadn't said your name was Jim, I'd have tried to marry you.
Even better since I was actually planning on marrying you anyway with some sort of 'keep the wealth in the family' and 'we can adopt' excuse. ;D
But then you died so I went with my original plan to marry quiller(The Robot).
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I never stood a chance with you fiends.
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Even better since I was actually planning on marrying you anyway with some sort of 'keep the wealth in the family' and 'we can adopt' excuse. ;D
But then you died so I went with my original plan to marry quiller(The Robot).
I was ok with marrying you, too. XD
We're rich, prolly inbred anyway.
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Jim was literally the only guy that was both a) human and b) not-a-murdering-psycho. This was one of those rare situations where incest might have been the best option. XD
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Hey, Parma was a glorious bear. Don't knock it. XD
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I don't even want to know where that would fall on the furry scale.
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Less then warrior cats, more then cat girls.
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Jim was literally the only guy that was both a) human and b) not-a-murdering-psycho. This was one of those rare situations where incest might have been the best option. XD
Yeah, it was totally unfair. XD He was the only choice that would get me max points.
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Being that Parma was a full on bear, it wouldn't be that far away from warrior cats, but since he had a had and mustache and humans could actually understand him, it would probably be one of the most socially acceptable non-furry forms of animal-doing. You'd have a lot of excuses anyway, since if a sentient bear wants to have sex with you, there's really no escaping it unless you have a hunting rifle or something.
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Yeah, it was totally unfair. XD He was the only choice that would get me max points.
There were more elligible characters, but by dammit, it was hard enough getting 6 active people to sign up. I mean, I could have invited all of you over to MafiaScum.net or some other high-population forum that was big on forum games, but I'd have to bargain between forums with people who were either good roleplayers, or good mafia players.
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Being that Parma was a full on bear, it wouldn't be that far away from warrior cats, but since he had a had and mustache and humans could actually understand him, it would probably be one of the most socially acceptable non-furry forms of animal-doing. You'd have a lot of excuses anyway, since if a sentient bear wants to have sex with you, there's really no escaping it unless you have a hunting rifle or something.
At least his true nature would be easier to hide than a robot. ::)