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Messages - Arthesul

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Forum Games / Re: Assassin in the Chalice (Game thread!)
« on: January 22, 2015, 11:02:29 am »
Pff, that's far from fair! One Frijole is easily worth 20 corn husks!

All three of those 1000 bonus frijole questions buried somewhere would have bought you 20,000 each! That's, like, 60,000 corn husks. What could you possibly do with all those corn husks!? What would you want with them!?

Forum Games / Re: Assassin in the Chalice (Game thread!)
« on: January 21, 2015, 08:36:46 pm »
And as Berkazerka expelled all of his digestive enzymes onto Tans, who slowly disintergrated into a bloody molecular mess, he found that Tans was, in fact, a guard. But holy shit, he was close to getting the king.

Thanks to the fact that no one thought to consult a mystic yeast to tell them which ones of them were bitter enemies in a past life, no one thought to think that the one that called itself Berka would have anything to do with the aspiring assassin.

The kingdom lived and prospered for many days before being poured into a barrel and expanding into a massive, barrel-sized empire, where it fell (after 100 years) and was later served at passover by Mel Brooks himself.


Sonemine comes in last, I'm afraid. She definitely did speak differently, but by jove, I told her to speak like a bally 18th century englishman!... My, my, I might have meant 19th, but I guess she got Shakespeare's voice down to some degree, what with the iamic pentameter/sonnet thing... I'm not sure, perhaps she does indeed earn a(n ethically questionable) 6 Frijoles instead of 0. +1 repairation because I was being a dunce


Berkazerka received points every time he used a weird interjection or an unorthodox simile. And, by kringle, it looks like he picked up first place faster than an energizer bunny in a meth lab! But his 24 frijoles only got him so far, and he is presently in third place.

Tanstaafl, was like, really cool throughout this whole game, man. He made Berka look totally square with his 28 frijole score. I think, like, he's in second.

...It doth seem that Aman himself, with his olde English Speakerie, did by far outdoeth even the worthy knave Tanstaafl, with 32 frijoles! Aman is indeed the winner of this frijole contest! (And, by sheer coincidence, the only survivor at the end of the game.)

Forum Games / Re: Assassin in the Chalice (Game thread!)
« on: January 21, 2015, 06:50:50 pm »
Daedalus seems pretty resigned about his fate as everyone else engulfs and digests him... But then they found that Daedalus wasn't the insane yeast either! And he only had two frijoles! OH, WHY DOES FATE HAVE TO BE SO CRUEL!? WHY!?

Daedalus was a guard.

Forum Games / Re: Assassin in the Chalice (Game thread!)
« on: January 21, 2015, 09:04:44 am »
Frijoles are well-known for being losenge-shaped seeds made of solid gold.

But these aren't just any frijoles, Aman. These are bonus frijoles.

Forum Games / Re: Assassin in the Chalice (Game thread!)
« on: January 20, 2015, 01:01:24 pm »
The tense eyes of the brewer glare impatiently at the wine glass. If a yeast's cytoplasm is not spilt by tomorrow morning, everyone will die.

Just when Anhueser was thinking about enacting his rage early, he smelled the sweet smell of sacrifice! The yeast cells gathered around Sonemine and engulfed him to death, and then excreted her base materials. But when they    looked at his genetic coding, they found no insanity secquence... It was a shame, she had such a life ahead of him, and so many division cycles left....

Sonemine was a guard!

And with that, the alcoholic clouds retreat, to loom ominously another day.

Forum Games / Re: Assassin in the Chalice (Game thread!)
« on: January 19, 2015, 08:45:20 am »
 Alcohol, that deadly chemical looms overhead threateningly. It seems almost as if the only reason it didn't swallow them all was because the outside forces influencing the glass were gone for most of yesterday.
(Length extended to 3 days between kills)

Forum Games / Assassin in the Chalice (Game thread!)
« on: January 17, 2015, 05:10:37 pm »
The sun rises on the wine glass once more. Most Yeast cells would be asleep by this point, but not the ones here. It was a restless night in the glucose palace as the alcohol began closing in and the assassin roamed its halls...

Here, the eldritch god Anhueser Busch of Budweiser Brewing watches with baited breath. If one yeast cell is not killed, be it by assassination or by lynching, within 24 hourse of one another, the grape juice will wholly ferment and burn them all to death.

Forum Games / Re: Mafia on a Boat!
« on: December 01, 2014, 03:17:59 pm »
Yeah, it was totally unfair. XD  He was the only choice that would get me max points.

There were more elligible characters, but by dammit, it was hard enough getting 6 active people to sign up. I mean, I could have invited all of you over to or some other high-population forum that was big on forum games, but I'd have to bargain between forums with people who were either good roleplayers, or good mafia players.

Forum Games / Re: Mafia on a Boat!
« on: December 01, 2014, 02:53:38 pm »
Being that Parma was a full on bear, it wouldn't be that far away from warrior cats, but since he had a had and mustache and humans could actually understand him, it would probably be one of the most socially acceptable non-furry forms of animal-doing. You'd have a lot of excuses anyway, since if a sentient bear wants to have sex with you, there's really no escaping it unless you have a hunting rifle or something.

Forum Games / Re: Mafia on a Boat!
« on: November 28, 2014, 06:41:34 pm »
Hwah!? Run Pittsburgh 68? Berka, I think you're severely overestimating the size and capacity of my brain....

Forum Games / Re: Mafia on a Boat!
« on: November 28, 2014, 03:23:33 pm »
Wait, there's only the three of you left, right?... Damn, sorry I'm late.

As the tensions rise, the future Mr. and Mrs. Katz bring themselves to throw Don out of one of the portholes. It seems Lisa's vote was worth 2 for its convincingness, since her artificial pheromones were placed on overdrive. Inspection of his room reveals that Don was, in fact, Clarence Smitch, a mafia member and well-known advocate for Communism in Mother Russia!


The guards declared the Town's victory when the boat landed, but nobody knew what the fark they were talking about because there was no town to speak of. Lauded as heroes for sticking a wrench in the Great Russian Mafia of Colorado's operations by killing two high-ranking members, Lisa and Jim broke the good news to Jim's multi-Kajillionaire dad, who wrote them into his will before, unfortunately, dying violently years later while Mr. and Mrs. Katz were on their post-honeymoon-honeymoon in Tortuga.

It was on this trip that a beautiful romantic comedy took place and Lisa learned how to feel emotions on an almost human level, but it was later discovered, when they tried doing what most people do on their first honeymoon for the first time, that Lisa was, in fact, a robot. They sent a petition to the FBI branch that built her to make her anatomically correct, and after much confusion, Lisa 2.0 was finally able to start a happy family with horrific cyborg children.

Clarence Smitch was saved, through some miracle, and realizing the fault in his ways, he abandoned his mafia connections entirely and became a Rasputin-esque Russian Commie Wizard as soon as he washed up on the shores of Easter Island, where he and the Comrade heads lived in perfect Anti-Capitalist harmony.

Marko Behrkofski also washed up on an island, where he terrorized the bird population of Maui until he was erroneously captured by Bigfoot Hunters and put in a Zoo by the humane society. After the local populace realized he could talk and walk like any normal human, he was released into the world of people again, and allowed to go on another boat trip. It is said, that because talking bears are usually immortal unless killed by other organisms, that Marko Behrkofski roams the wilds of Yellowstone to this day, robbing countless visitors of their steak and pic-a-nic baskets.

Lisa, murdered by her own fiancee, furiously haunted the Communist Wizard. This led to several Amnesia-like sequences before Clarence was able to apologize enough to stop her murder attempts. Begrudingly, she spent the rest of Clarence's life as his necromancy familiar.

It is said that Olaf was Patient Zero for the Mini-Apocalypse of 1945, when Nazi scientists in Latvia brought his rotted remains in to test their regeneration serum on him and see if he came back. He did, but he was a Farking Zombie. Luckily, George Patton was there to kill them all before shit got serious... He didn't even have an army with him at the time...


Lisa was created by the FBI to rid the US of the Red Menace before the Cold War even began. Unfortunately, she lost her gun in customs and had no other combat programming, so she had to lynch Clarence the Communist instead. This was made easier for her because her vote was worth two, and she was instrumental in his death, the deciding vote, in fact. For this, Quiller earns 40 frijoles.

Olaf wanted to become an actor and stage designer when he next got a break from his job as a Mafia book-cooker and evidence-bungler. In his efforts to become a better actor, he used 3 Shakespearean insults, earning 31tev/Sonemine 20 frijoles

Jane Katz wanted to get married in order to get into her father's will as firstborn, because Women's rights wasn't exactly a high priority back then. She dodged the incest trap I placed like Keanu Reeves dodges speeding bullets, and she was proposed to a fine member of the human species. Sethaniel gets 40 frijoles.

Jim Katz wanted to get married to prove to his father that he was responsible enough to be his heir. He too, dodged the incest trap, and subsequently married a young lady with a heart of gold... Literally... They both lived to the end of the game, and Jim never voted for her in a lynch, earning Fireplay a cool 50 frijoles.

Clarence Smitch, being a Communist, wanted to kill the Russian oligarch Marko Behrkofski so that the Revolution might be in full swing, but knowing that Marko was a man of Bear-like strength, he had to be lynched. Unfortunately, Clarence never even voted for Parma, Berka recieves no frijoles. D:

Marko Behrkofski, being a Russian oligarch, owned a very big and beautiful estate, with a river running through it. It was known worldwide for its bountiful salmon, one of which a poaching Mafia member named Olaf Romanov stole with impunity, the bastard. Luckily, the first person that Marko killed was Olaf himself. Completing this and another bonus goal,  has earned Aman 40 frijoles.

Forum Games / Re: Mafia on a Boat!
« on: November 25, 2014, 07:38:29 pm »
Day 2

The group wakes up the next morning, and once the head-counting begins, they may notice someone might just be missing...

Garroted to death in her own bed was the joyful, blushing bride-to-be! Almost as if jinxed...

Riley Mup was once Jane Katz, who was Town.

Forum Games / Re: Mafia on a Boat!
« on: November 25, 2014, 07:25:44 pm »
You locked the ooc.

Why are you apologizing to Quiller?

Wasn't the vote tied btw Parma & Lisa? Why did Parma get killed?

That wasn't me. If it was, it wasn't on purpose. Until then, I blame the Stealth Locker.

I was apologizing to Quiller because Zack's murder and subsequent loss of vote meant that Quiller would have been lynched, and Quiller was lynched up until I changed it... I remembered that one of the people voting had a special ability. Their votes are worth two, because they can influence the subconscious.

Forum Games / Re: Mafia on a Boat!
« on: November 25, 2014, 12:55:57 pm »
Oh, dammitdammitdammit... Major miscalculation on my part. Sorry, Quiller.

In a burst of Mob fury, the group shoves Parma Shawn out of a Porthole, for some odd reason. The vote seemed to be going in Lisa's direction until this point... Because bears do not swim for long distances, it is safe to assume that Parma will die...

Parma Shawn was a Bear, his real name was Marko Behrkofski. And he was Town.

Night phase, PM me your actions if you have a night-time role. Roleplay out your dreams or continue your debates in the OOC if it takes a long time.

Forum Games / Re: Mafia on a Boat!
« on: November 25, 2014, 12:48:01 pm »
The accusations become too much for Parma, and, after a brief, thought and reason-filled pause, he slaps Zack/Sonemine in the face.

Zack falls to the ground, bleeding and screaming, for some odd reason. Closer inspection reveals that this is because Parma has claws, and an arm as tough as any tree trunk. Parma, tired of standing on two legs, lets himself fall forward onto his forelegs and crush Zack's ribcage into smithereens. Parma Shawn was a grizzly bear wearing a hat and a fake mustache this whole time!? Wow, who knew!?

The group hastily ties the bear down to a stake at the corner of the room, and barely manages to take Zack's torn-off arm out of its mouth.

Closer inspection of Zack's room reveals:

Zack's real name was Olaf Romanov. He was a mafioso, and a shameless fish-thief!

Forum Games / Re: Mafia on a Boat!
« on: November 24, 2014, 10:22:10 pm »
The tension in the air is palpable, so palpable, in fact, that one could cut it out of the air with a butter knife. In fact, the boat's inhabitants are now covered with a thick, wet layer of tension as it condenses out of the air from the temperature difference caused by weird sea-air physics. Who will be killed today, if anyone?

1 vote Gary/Fireplay
2 votes Parma/Aman
3 votes Lisa/Quiller

Forum Games / Mafia on a Boat!
« on: November 22, 2014, 09:10:20 pm »
The year is 1925. A certain Alcohol trafficker threw a masquerade on his yacht off the coast of California, and people of considerable wealth from all over the world came to be there... For varying reasons. The host was shot in the ballroom late one night by a mafia hitman, and as a precautionary measure, the security guards locked up all the passenger wings. Your characters are currently stuck there, and will be stuck there until the boat reaches the shore. Might as well make the best of your time here... And kill the mafia before they kill you.

Community Conversation / Re: Next (Jewish) Holiday
« on: November 13, 2014, 08:39:42 am »
Oh my god, my Chem teacher is the biggest Carl Sagan fan on planet earth, I swear. My bio teacher last year called her in just so she could "introduce" Carl before she showed us one of his shows.

Introductions / Re: I have arrived
« on: November 10, 2014, 06:16:58 pm »
didn't you already have an account here?

You must have him confused with Feanor. I, too, confused Beta with Feanor several times. There was a brief period in time when I confused him, (and everyone else) with Cool74, and another time when I confused nuclearwarfareaw with puddlebunni, and Nmelssx with that one new guy that everyone forgot about.

Introductions / Re: SPOILER WARNING!
« on: November 06, 2014, 08:50:56 am »
Wait... wouldn't that make the previous destiny broken?  :D Unless you mean they meet in the afterlife.

Introductions / Re: SPOILER WARNING!
« on: November 02, 2014, 06:45:03 pm »

Careful, bullets might break it!

Introductions / SPOILER WARNING!
« on: November 02, 2014, 04:24:31 pm »
In his wild attempts to get the last bible from Eli,  Snape beats trinity to death with Rosebud and turns her into Soylent Green. This is proven to be a pointless effort, however, since the bible is written entirely in Braille. Little did Eli know, however, that Trinity was never real at all, and Snape was secretly Tyler Durden. It was later revealed that Darth Vader was the father of both Eli and Snape, and that they were destined to meet again in the next, upcoming season. There's also a scene where, shortly after Mr. Gold kills Peter Pan, (Who also turns out to be Darth Vader, his father,) where Mike, Albert, Gareth, Theresa, and Bob Stookey get murdered by Jim Phelps, who, as it turns out, was a meth dealer all along. Luckily, Gandalf wasn't dead, and he came back as Gandalf the White and enacted vengeance upon that redheaded girl in Final Fantasy whose death made everyone cry and piss vinegar on the internet. It is revealed shortly after Macbeth and Skyler's Meth-cooking sequence, that Macbeth killed Hank and Gus in order to inherit the crown of Scotland.

In the series finale, Tris dies, and Spike- *Realizes this is a Cowboy Bebop site*... Uhh... Nothing happened to spike, he saved the world as usual. The very same world that Bruce Wayne's parents and Spiderman's Uncle live in...

Community Conversation / Re: Camping this Weekend
« on: October 12, 2014, 04:56:03 pm »
You are success!

A winner art thee!

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