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Author Topic: Mafia on a Boat!  (Read 7376 times)

Fireplay

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Re: Mafia on a Boat!
« Reply #50 on: November 26, 2014, 11:00:27 pm »

"Now, is that anyway to respect the future Lady of the Katz family? You should be ashamed of yourself. If you do not retract your Lynch threat on her then I shall have to support your Lynch."
 Jim says to Don before walking over to Lisa and attempting to wrap his arm around her.

"You don't mind dear do you?"
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the_quiller

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Re: Mafia on a Boat!
« Reply #51 on: November 27, 2014, 01:23:56 am »

Lisa doesn't visibly react to Jim's draping an arm around her, but she doesn't shy away either. She says evenly, "I do not mind. Your Actions are supportive. I am..." she pauses, as if searching for the right word. "...touched by your willingness to defend me."
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BerkaZerka

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Re: Mafia on a Boat!
« Reply #52 on: November 27, 2014, 11:03:21 am »

"Well, it seems that you hold all the cards, as well as the family fortune now, Jim..." Don says, after letting his 'Bros before Hos' chant die down slowly...
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Fireplay

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Re: Mafia on a Boat!
« Reply #53 on: November 27, 2014, 12:52:59 pm »

Jim nods to the statement before speaking up.
 "Alright, so since I'd rather not lynch everybody here to ensure my.. our survival. I suggest everybody sleeps in this room tonight so nobody can try to kill anyone in their sleep."
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BerkaZerka

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Re: Mafia on a Boat!
« Reply #54 on: November 27, 2014, 06:49:13 pm »

"Uhm... that didn't seem to work out too well last night..." Don points out.

"But wait a minute. Here are some new thoughts on the subject." Don continues.

"Lisa, I'm sorry I thought you were the Mafioso. It's just that 'what's her name' was garroted in her sleep and I note you wear a scarf. A scarf one could use to choke another to death in their sleep with."

"So yeah, not going to let either of you out of my sight tonight..."

"See where I'm going with this Jim?"
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Arthesul

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Re: Mafia on a Boat!
« Reply #55 on: November 28, 2014, 03:23:33 pm »

Wait, there's only the three of you left, right?... Damn, sorry I'm late.

As the tensions rise, the future Mr. and Mrs. Katz bring themselves to throw Don out of one of the portholes. It seems Lisa's vote was worth 2 for its convincingness, since her artificial pheromones were placed on overdrive. Inspection of his room reveals that Don was, in fact, Clarence Smitch, a mafia member and well-known advocate for Communism in Mother Russia!

---Epilogue---

The guards declared the Town's victory when the boat landed, but nobody knew what the fark they were talking about because there was no town to speak of. Lauded as heroes for sticking a wrench in the Great Russian Mafia of Colorado's operations by killing two high-ranking members, Lisa and Jim broke the good news to Jim's multi-Kajillionaire dad, who wrote them into his will before, unfortunately, dying violently years later while Mr. and Mrs. Katz were on their post-honeymoon-honeymoon in Tortuga.

It was on this trip that a beautiful romantic comedy took place and Lisa learned how to feel emotions on an almost human level, but it was later discovered, when they tried doing what most people do on their first honeymoon for the first time, that Lisa was, in fact, a robot. They sent a petition to the FBI branch that built her to make her anatomically correct, and after much confusion, Lisa 2.0 was finally able to start a happy family with horrific cyborg children.

Clarence Smitch was saved, through some miracle, and realizing the fault in his ways, he abandoned his mafia connections entirely and became a Rasputin-esque Russian Commie Wizard as soon as he washed up on the shores of Easter Island, where he and the Comrade heads lived in perfect Anti-Capitalist harmony.

Marko Behrkofski also washed up on an island, where he terrorized the bird population of Maui until he was erroneously captured by Bigfoot Hunters and put in a Zoo by the humane society. After the local populace realized he could talk and walk like any normal human, he was released into the world of people again, and allowed to go on another boat trip. It is said, that because talking bears are usually immortal unless killed by other organisms, that Marko Behrkofski roams the wilds of Yellowstone to this day, robbing countless visitors of their steak and pic-a-nic baskets.

Lisa, murdered by her own fiancee, furiously haunted the Communist Wizard. This led to several Amnesia-like sequences before Clarence was able to apologize enough to stop her murder attempts. Begrudingly, she spent the rest of Clarence's life as his necromancy familiar.

It is said that Olaf was Patient Zero for the Mini-Apocalypse of 1945, when Nazi scientists in Latvia brought his rotted remains in to test their regeneration serum on him and see if he came back. He did, but he was a Farking Zombie. Luckily, George Patton was there to kill them all before shit got serious... He didn't even have an army with him at the time...

Frijoles:

Lisa was created by the FBI to rid the US of the Red Menace before the Cold War even began. Unfortunately, she lost her gun in customs and had no other combat programming, so she had to lynch Clarence the Communist instead. This was made easier for her because her vote was worth two, and she was instrumental in his death, the deciding vote, in fact. For this, Quiller earns 40 frijoles.

Olaf wanted to become an actor and stage designer when he next got a break from his job as a Mafia book-cooker and evidence-bungler. In his efforts to become a better actor, he used 3 Shakespearean insults, earning 31tev/Sonemine 20 frijoles

Jane Katz wanted to get married in order to get into her father's will as firstborn, because Women's rights wasn't exactly a high priority back then. She dodged the incest trap I placed like Keanu Reeves dodges speeding bullets, and she was proposed to a fine member of the human species. Sethaniel gets 40 frijoles.

Jim Katz wanted to get married to prove to his father that he was responsible enough to be his heir. He too, dodged the incest trap, and subsequently married a young lady with a heart of gold... Literally... They both lived to the end of the game, and Jim never voted for her in a lynch, earning Fireplay a cool 50 frijoles.

Clarence Smitch, being a Communist, wanted to kill the Russian oligarch Marko Behrkofski so that the Revolution might be in full swing, but knowing that Marko was a man of Bear-like strength, he had to be lynched. Unfortunately, Clarence never even voted for Parma, Berka recieves no frijoles. D:

Marko Behrkofski, being a Russian oligarch, owned a very big and beautiful estate, with a river running through it. It was known worldwide for its bountiful salmon, one of which a poaching Mafia member named Olaf Romanov stole with impunity, the bastard. Luckily, the first person that Marko killed was Olaf himself. Completing this and another bonus goal,  has earned Aman 40 frijoles.
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BerkaZerka

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Re: Mafia on a Boat!
« Reply #56 on: November 28, 2014, 05:39:40 pm »

Well, thanks for running the game. It was pretty funny and I think I ended up being more active in it than you haha!

That said, I have to wonder who Fireplay would have voted to lynch, had we been given a little more play time. Had he sided with me, we would have had a tie no?

But anyway, nice little game. Now Run a Pittsburgh 68 game for us you Commie Mutant Traitor!  ;D
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Arthesul

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Re: Mafia on a Boat!
« Reply #57 on: November 28, 2014, 06:41:34 pm »

Hwah!? Run Pittsburgh 68? Berka, I think you're severely overestimating the size and capacity of my brain....
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Sonemine

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Re: Mafia on a Boat!
« Reply #58 on: November 29, 2014, 06:52:05 am »

I only got to use two Shakespearean insults, so I don't deserve any frijoles. :P
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BerkaZerka

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Re: Mafia on a Boat!
« Reply #59 on: November 29, 2014, 09:18:49 am »

I'll pay you half price for your undeserved frijoles (that would be one cinnamon twist per frijole).
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Fireplay

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Re: Mafia on a Boat!
« Reply #60 on: November 30, 2014, 07:54:44 pm »

I think I would have stuck with Lisa to the end, hoping she wouldn't murder me afterwards. lol
 
 Also, robot children mean the Katz family line is now technically immortal. ;D
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the_quiller

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Re: Mafia on a Boat!
« Reply #61 on: November 30, 2014, 08:01:43 pm »

LOL, I was pretty much hoping the same thing.

For your bonus goal, you were pretty much stuck with choosing between an android or your own sister. Then again, a brother, two mafia members or an anthropomorphic bear if you wanted to expand your options. Pretty grim prospects no matter which of the Katz siblings you were, though I think Jim got the better deal in the end XD

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Sethaniel

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Re: Mafia on a Boat!
« Reply #62 on: November 30, 2014, 08:54:00 pm »

Xd if you hadn't said your name was Jim, I'd have tried to marry you.
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Fireplay

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Re: Mafia on a Boat!
« Reply #63 on: December 01, 2014, 12:29:14 pm »

Xd if you hadn't said your name was Jim, I'd have tried to marry you.

Even better since I was actually planning on marrying you anyway with some sort of 'keep the wealth in the family' and 'we can adopt' excuse.  ;D
 But then you died so I went with my original plan to marry quiller(The Robot).
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BerkaZerka

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Re: Mafia on a Boat!
« Reply #64 on: December 01, 2014, 01:06:54 pm »

I never stood a chance with you fiends.
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Sethaniel

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Re: Mafia on a Boat!
« Reply #65 on: December 01, 2014, 01:15:56 pm »

Even better since I was actually planning on marrying you anyway with some sort of 'keep the wealth in the family' and 'we can adopt' excuse.  ;D
 But then you died so I went with my original plan to marry quiller(The Robot).

I was ok with marrying you, too. XD

We're rich, prolly inbred anyway.
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the_quiller

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Re: Mafia on a Boat!
« Reply #66 on: December 01, 2014, 01:44:04 pm »

Jim was literally the only guy that was both a) human and b) not-a-murdering-psycho. This was one of those rare situations where incest might have been the best option. XD
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Not Aman

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Re: Mafia on a Boat!
« Reply #67 on: December 01, 2014, 01:47:38 pm »

Hey, Parma was a glorious bear. Don't knock it. XD
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the_quiller

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Re: Mafia on a Boat!
« Reply #68 on: December 01, 2014, 02:03:24 pm »

I don't even want to know where that would fall on the furry scale.
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Not Aman

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Re: Mafia on a Boat!
« Reply #69 on: December 01, 2014, 02:09:08 pm »

Less then warrior cats, more then cat girls.
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Sethaniel

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Re: Mafia on a Boat!
« Reply #70 on: December 01, 2014, 02:29:09 pm »

Jim was literally the only guy that was both a) human and b) not-a-murdering-psycho. This was one of those rare situations where incest might have been the best option. XD

Yeah, it was totally unfair. XD  He was the only choice that would get me max points.

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Arthesul

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Re: Mafia on a Boat!
« Reply #71 on: December 01, 2014, 02:53:38 pm »

Being that Parma was a full on bear, it wouldn't be that far away from warrior cats, but since he had a had and mustache and humans could actually understand him, it would probably be one of the most socially acceptable non-furry forms of animal-doing. You'd have a lot of excuses anyway, since if a sentient bear wants to have sex with you, there's really no escaping it unless you have a hunting rifle or something.
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Arthesul

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Re: Mafia on a Boat!
« Reply #72 on: December 01, 2014, 03:17:59 pm »

Yeah, it was totally unfair. XD  He was the only choice that would get me max points.

There were more elligible characters, but by dammit, it was hard enough getting 6 active people to sign up. I mean, I could have invited all of you over to MafiaScum.net or some other high-population forum that was big on forum games, but I'd have to bargain between forums with people who were either good roleplayers, or good mafia players.
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Fireplay

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Re: Mafia on a Boat!
« Reply #73 on: December 02, 2014, 12:08:49 pm »

Being that Parma was a full on bear, it wouldn't be that far away from warrior cats, but since he had a had and mustache and humans could actually understand him, it would probably be one of the most socially acceptable non-furry forms of animal-doing. You'd have a lot of excuses anyway, since if a sentient bear wants to have sex with you, there's really no escaping it unless you have a hunting rifle or something.

At least his true nature would be easier to hide than a robot. ::)
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