1
Forum Games / Re: There's a MAFIA in my Monastery!
« on: December 05, 2017, 09:51:08 pm »
Starring:
Berkazerka as Master Sun!
Cool74 as Master Tiger!
Claw2k11 as Stiff Johnny!
Forge as Happy Traveller!
Daedalus as Master Dao!
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Starring:
Berkazerka as Master Sun!
Cool74 as Master Tiger!
Claw2k11 as Stiff Johnny!
Forge as Happy Traveller!
Daedalus as Master Dao!
2
Forum Games / There's a MAFIA in my Monastery!
« on: December 05, 2017, 01:29:30 am »
I’VE RETURNED BY POPULAR (Berka’s) DEMAND TO BRING JOY AND GOODNESS! Seeing how fun it was to have complete badasses for Sethaniel-style Mafia characters, like Colonel Bruce Barley and Marko, I figured a Martial-Arts-Themed game where EVERYONE’S a badass would be fun, and TOTALLY NOT RUIN THAT AT ALL. Well, not really. I just sort of had this vague idea for translating ideas and principles* from different martial arts into Mafia abilities for a long time.
*Or at least just the Hollywood versions.
In the futuristic year of 15xx, in the magical world of Jianghu, trouble abounds! Monks and racketeers alike roam the streets, particularly the ones around bars, restaurants, and taverns, all beating the shit out of each other! And a lot of those racketeers don’t even play tennis! In a Wuxia World, crime, corruption, and vigilantism run rampant, but one man stood above it all, leading the forces of law, order, and peaceful Kung Fu practice… Before he fell down.
Sifu Dragonsword, master of medicine, Kung Fu, and all of thisandthat, had invited his legendary graduated students to The Raolin Monastery for his two-hundredth birthday, only to be murdered shortly after the guests arrived. Even worse? His legendary blade was STOLEN! This could only be the work of the Shuangdong Mafia! They wanted him dead for years, but none of the assassins sent before had done their job. With the students being the only people there with him, it’s perhaps possible that paying off his less loyal, or perhaps disillusioned students was the only way to get the job done… Using a sacred, albeit dark ritual to reveal Truth in Death, Sifu’s students have banded together under the agreement that no one leaves The Monastery until Sifu’s death is avenged! Though, with killers as tricky and secretive as these, it may be difficult for the innocent to escape this situation unscathed…
Choose your Character!
Stiff Johnny:
A mysterious, stiff-jointed, hypochondriac from a noble family nobody’s heard of, Stiff Johnny has always been an eccentric figure… But never seemed to be the ‘organized crime’ type. Until, perhaps, now. Seeking Dragonsword’s advice for physical and spiritual health, his time at The Monastery gained him some skills in the martial arts as well. Perhaps it wasn’t so much technique as it was his bizarre level of strength, but he too became a well known student of Sifu Dragonsword for his ability to kick ass. Though, despite his insistence that he’s very much NOT a vampire, it’s quite hard for him to dispel all the dark rumors. Some of which may be rooted in reality.
Master Bamboo Stick:
Master Bamboo Stick was always considered a rebel and a hellraiser in his younger years, but after graduating to Master, he’s become more of a helpful drifter… Though occasionally his methods of displacing violent gangs haven’t been the most legal, and his befuddled methods and mannerisms haven’t always been very effective sources of help… But surely this isn’t out of malice or criminal affiliation? Right?
Master Dao:
Dragonsword’s youngest and most mischievous student, Master Dao has quite a reputation for being both an elaborate prankster and a kicker of ass. He’s always lived on the edge, both of the law, and of Dragonsword’s nerves, but he’s a very respected martial artist and member of society. In another, more suspicious light, perhaps he wasn’t the innocent trickster everyone thought he was…
Master Sun:
Entirely discounting the rumors that Stiff Johnny might be an immortal vampire who’s taken many aliasses over the years, Master Sun is one of Sifu Dragonsword’s earliest surviving students. And, whether the rumors are true or not, certainly the one who was closest friends with him. Master Sun has lived and practiced with Dragonsword for multiple decades, and often went off adventuring with him more than without. He was, perhaps, the closest thing Dragonsword considered to an equal in skill and experience, and perhaps might have been the only one capable of killing him hand-to-hand… Surely the two never shied away from an argument, or even a feud, but would Master Sun turn to the Mafia over one of their differences?
Master Bertram:
There’s at least a million different kinds of boxing. Northern boxing, southern boxing, western boxing, kickboxing, chess boxing, drunken boxing, cannon boxing. Master Bertram was trained in all of them. Though he was Sifu’s most recent… And perhaps most unusual students. Hailing from a mysterious, faraway place, Master Bertram came directly to Sifu Dragonsword in hopes of learning his techniques. And, well, how could you question an absurd creature like that? Master Bertram picked up on his teacher’s lessons quickly. Perhaps too quickly. Was this mysterious stranger the one the Mafia sent to kill Dragonsword?
Freddy Wong:
Wong was a simple travelling doctor before he met Sifu Dragonsword. It used to be quite a busy job as a Doctor, what with all these thugs around hurting people. Almost more than Freddy could handle, but when Dragonsword came by and shut down the local toughs and their organizations, Freddy found himself with a MUCH more manageable workload. It was then Freddy decided to follow Sifu and take up a career in… Preventative medicine. There wasn’t much money in forcefully gangsters from injuring people, but Freddy Wong believed in his cause… Though, perhaps a lack of medical business with the rise of Dragonsword and his vigilante students caused a change of heart.
Fearsome Commander Noodle:
Fearsome Commander Noodle was a simple Navy Chef, but now he is a war hero who regularly drives pirates away from Jianghu’s shores. But once, he was the laughingstock of the Jianghu Empire’s defense force. Or so it seemed. His lack of kung fu training made him an easy target for the abuse of others. It was years of unjust servitude in awful conditions. One day, while dodging the blows of an angry “customer” with all-too-practiced skill, he caught the eye of Sifu Dragonsword. What followed after his training was quite the story. After taking charge in a particular battle and slaying 22 pirates with his own bare hands, there was no more servitude and kitchenwork for him. The general promoted Noodle to Battlecommander right then and there!... But perhaps ambition and violent efficacy aren't exactly a law-abiding combination...
Master Tiger:
In Sifu’s century-and-a-half career, Master Tiger has been known as the most fierce and passionate of Dragonsword’s Students. As soon as he graduated from Sifu’s training and went off on his own, the first thing he did was go out on his own to defend the innocent, and teach the innocent how to defend themselves. There are many songs in many villages praising his name for driving the bandits away and building fortifications to protect them from future invasions. Master Tiger has long been known as a passionate protector of the people, but never to the extent that an alleged demigod like Dragonsword was. Did he tire of Sifu’s shadow?
Happy Traveller:
Happy Traveller had always been a man out of place and time. Always seeming to know more than he should, always keen to walk the earth imparting irreverent but wise advice. It was only natural that kind of monk would be attacked ALL THE TIME, and it was certainly a wonder Happy Traveller managed to live long enough to arrive on Sifu Dragonsword’s doorstep. Luckily, when he did, Dragonsword kindly took the man in, tended to his wounds, and taught him how to defend himself from those who would have him beat up. Nobody expected him to be so good at it, but somehow he managed to achieve legendary status in the field of fightsmanship. Is there something less innocent to his sly demeanor and mysterious ways?
“BUT ARTHEYBOY!” I hear you cry, “Bill Murray is the only monk character, and he’s not even from Sifu’s monastery! Is Sifu Dragonsword even a monk? You do know there are people other than Shaolin Monks who had their own Kung Fu styles, right? There were just regular people with regular gyms who taught each other Kung Fu!”
And to that, I say, “Quiet, you! It’s better with alliteration!”
*Or at least just the Hollywood versions.
In the futuristic year of 15xx, in the magical world of Jianghu, trouble abounds! Monks and racketeers alike roam the streets, particularly the ones around bars, restaurants, and taverns, all beating the shit out of each other! And a lot of those racketeers don’t even play tennis! In a Wuxia World, crime, corruption, and vigilantism run rampant, but one man stood above it all, leading the forces of law, order, and peaceful Kung Fu practice… Before he fell down.
Sifu Dragonsword, master of medicine, Kung Fu, and all of thisandthat, had invited his legendary graduated students to The Raolin Monastery for his two-hundredth birthday, only to be murdered shortly after the guests arrived. Even worse? His legendary blade was STOLEN! This could only be the work of the Shuangdong Mafia! They wanted him dead for years, but none of the assassins sent before had done their job. With the students being the only people there with him, it’s perhaps possible that paying off his less loyal, or perhaps disillusioned students was the only way to get the job done… Using a sacred, albeit dark ritual to reveal Truth in Death, Sifu’s students have banded together under the agreement that no one leaves The Monastery until Sifu’s death is avenged! Though, with killers as tricky and secretive as these, it may be difficult for the innocent to escape this situation unscathed…
Choose your Character!
Stiff Johnny:
A mysterious, stiff-jointed, hypochondriac from a noble family nobody’s heard of, Stiff Johnny has always been an eccentric figure… But never seemed to be the ‘organized crime’ type. Until, perhaps, now. Seeking Dragonsword’s advice for physical and spiritual health, his time at The Monastery gained him some skills in the martial arts as well. Perhaps it wasn’t so much technique as it was his bizarre level of strength, but he too became a well known student of Sifu Dragonsword for his ability to kick ass. Though, despite his insistence that he’s very much NOT a vampire, it’s quite hard for him to dispel all the dark rumors. Some of which may be rooted in reality.
Master Bamboo Stick:
Master Bamboo Stick was always considered a rebel and a hellraiser in his younger years, but after graduating to Master, he’s become more of a helpful drifter… Though occasionally his methods of displacing violent gangs haven’t been the most legal, and his befuddled methods and mannerisms haven’t always been very effective sources of help… But surely this isn’t out of malice or criminal affiliation? Right?
Master Dao:
Dragonsword’s youngest and most mischievous student, Master Dao has quite a reputation for being both an elaborate prankster and a kicker of ass. He’s always lived on the edge, both of the law, and of Dragonsword’s nerves, but he’s a very respected martial artist and member of society. In another, more suspicious light, perhaps he wasn’t the innocent trickster everyone thought he was…
Master Sun:
Entirely discounting the rumors that Stiff Johnny might be an immortal vampire who’s taken many aliasses over the years, Master Sun is one of Sifu Dragonsword’s earliest surviving students. And, whether the rumors are true or not, certainly the one who was closest friends with him. Master Sun has lived and practiced with Dragonsword for multiple decades, and often went off adventuring with him more than without. He was, perhaps, the closest thing Dragonsword considered to an equal in skill and experience, and perhaps might have been the only one capable of killing him hand-to-hand… Surely the two never shied away from an argument, or even a feud, but would Master Sun turn to the Mafia over one of their differences?
Master Bertram:
There’s at least a million different kinds of boxing. Northern boxing, southern boxing, western boxing, kickboxing, chess boxing, drunken boxing, cannon boxing. Master Bertram was trained in all of them. Though he was Sifu’s most recent… And perhaps most unusual students. Hailing from a mysterious, faraway place, Master Bertram came directly to Sifu Dragonsword in hopes of learning his techniques. And, well, how could you question an absurd creature like that? Master Bertram picked up on his teacher’s lessons quickly. Perhaps too quickly. Was this mysterious stranger the one the Mafia sent to kill Dragonsword?
Freddy Wong:
Wong was a simple travelling doctor before he met Sifu Dragonsword. It used to be quite a busy job as a Doctor, what with all these thugs around hurting people. Almost more than Freddy could handle, but when Dragonsword came by and shut down the local toughs and their organizations, Freddy found himself with a MUCH more manageable workload. It was then Freddy decided to follow Sifu and take up a career in… Preventative medicine. There wasn’t much money in forcefully gangsters from injuring people, but Freddy Wong believed in his cause… Though, perhaps a lack of medical business with the rise of Dragonsword and his vigilante students caused a change of heart.
Fearsome Commander Noodle:
Fearsome Commander Noodle was a simple Navy Chef, but now he is a war hero who regularly drives pirates away from Jianghu’s shores. But once, he was the laughingstock of the Jianghu Empire’s defense force. Or so it seemed. His lack of kung fu training made him an easy target for the abuse of others. It was years of unjust servitude in awful conditions. One day, while dodging the blows of an angry “customer” with all-too-practiced skill, he caught the eye of Sifu Dragonsword. What followed after his training was quite the story. After taking charge in a particular battle and slaying 22 pirates with his own bare hands, there was no more servitude and kitchenwork for him. The general promoted Noodle to Battlecommander right then and there!... But perhaps ambition and violent efficacy aren't exactly a law-abiding combination...
Master Tiger:
In Sifu’s century-and-a-half career, Master Tiger has been known as the most fierce and passionate of Dragonsword’s Students. As soon as he graduated from Sifu’s training and went off on his own, the first thing he did was go out on his own to defend the innocent, and teach the innocent how to defend themselves. There are many songs in many villages praising his name for driving the bandits away and building fortifications to protect them from future invasions. Master Tiger has long been known as a passionate protector of the people, but never to the extent that an alleged demigod like Dragonsword was. Did he tire of Sifu’s shadow?
Happy Traveller:
Happy Traveller had always been a man out of place and time. Always seeming to know more than he should, always keen to walk the earth imparting irreverent but wise advice. It was only natural that kind of monk would be attacked ALL THE TIME, and it was certainly a wonder Happy Traveller managed to live long enough to arrive on Sifu Dragonsword’s doorstep. Luckily, when he did, Dragonsword kindly took the man in, tended to his wounds, and taught him how to defend himself from those who would have him beat up. Nobody expected him to be so good at it, but somehow he managed to achieve legendary status in the field of fightsmanship. Is there something less innocent to his sly demeanor and mysterious ways?
“BUT ARTHEYBOY!” I hear you cry, “Bill Murray is the only monk character, and he’s not even from Sifu’s monastery! Is Sifu Dragonsword even a monk? You do know there are people other than Shaolin Monks who had their own Kung Fu styles, right? There were just regular people with regular gyms who taught each other Kung Fu!”
And to that, I say, “Quiet, you! It’s better with alliteration!”
3
General Game Discussion / Re: Call of Cthulhu BRP Question
« on: September 18, 2017, 02:18:21 pm »Big Bads in Call of Cthulhu generally cannot be killed by modern methods. Zombies or mutant fish men on the other hand can, but I wouldn't worry so much about balancing stats as making an entertaining game for your players.
Well, the group I'm playing with happens to be people who are very used to Pathfinder and 5E Dungeons and Dragons, 2 of the three big bads are going to be creepier, more powered-up versions of traditional fantasy monsters. (The middle one is a potential ally, and, if they make enemies he's powerful enough that it would take eldritch macguffins to seal him away much like a regular Cthulhu villain.) Since I don't want to beat the shit out of them for resorting to "traditional" methods, I've designed everything with both an investigatory approach and a combat approach in mind. I just want to know what sort of skill/power people should have that combat is dangerous without being overly punishing for people who technically haven't done anything wrong from a Dungeon-crawling standpoint. I'd like people to be able to kick ass but also be thoroughly open to having their asses kicked if they start going in expecting to win wit out a plan. The eldritch segments definitely shouldn't end up looking like Doom Guy came storming through Sea World on a bad day.
Far as I could always tell Cthulhu was never as much about the balanced stats as about the creeping fear and knowledge that you are likely to go insane before you ever get killed and once you go insane... it gets even freekier and more fun.
In that case, should I not extend the sanity meter by adding a separate "Child Tolerance" meter? There's a lot of bewitched kids in the beginning that aren't nearly as creepy as they are annoying in their attempts to prank the players to death and/or injury, so I figured having people roll to avoid losing control and smacking these kids upside the head would be more memorable and fun than chipping these guys' carefully chosen sanity stats down in the early game, when there's meat monsters and animated skins later on that would've had the same effect.
4
General Game Discussion / Re: Call of Cthulhu BRP Question
« on: September 15, 2017, 12:57:27 am »
As an aside, how should I simulate characters being moderately badass, and establish something that clearly has superhuman stats rather than various percentiles of human efficacy? I mean I guess there's kind of an answer to that in adding difficulty penalties to rolls for humans that a superhuman wouldn't have, but for my first sort of three-shot, I'm worried about mismatching the badassness of humans and monsters.
One thing I've been considering is just making big monsters sort of nebulous in power and ability, not tell players how many hitpoints rhey should take off it before it dies, and making Boss Fights mostly puzzles and/or skill checks with a bunch of very clearly defined mooks/the big nasty trying to smack the players as they do this. This way if the players start spiraling into a situation where I made something unintentionally deadlier than I thought it would be, I can bullshit the boss to death/retreat during their last stand and none would be the wiser. If it turns out to be underpowered, I can also make things that, by stats alone, wouldn't normally be all that scary seem overwhelming by narrating it differently and not giving the players full knowledge of what's happening behind the curtain. That has the added benefit of, if they solve the riddle and kill the thing the special way that it should have been killed when it was allegedly too tough, it still seems like they overcame a very powerful opponent through clever roleplaying rather than something that they would've just ganked from the beginning.
As always with stuff like this I'm not particularly sure if it's kosher to sort of use a monster's stats as it's in the games as guidelines like that rather than parameters. From a general standpoint are there any pitfalls to this and things I should avoid doing?
One thing I've been considering is just making big monsters sort of nebulous in power and ability, not tell players how many hitpoints rhey should take off it before it dies, and making Boss Fights mostly puzzles and/or skill checks with a bunch of very clearly defined mooks/the big nasty trying to smack the players as they do this. This way if the players start spiraling into a situation where I made something unintentionally deadlier than I thought it would be, I can bullshit the boss to death/retreat during their last stand and none would be the wiser. If it turns out to be underpowered, I can also make things that, by stats alone, wouldn't normally be all that scary seem overwhelming by narrating it differently and not giving the players full knowledge of what's happening behind the curtain. That has the added benefit of, if they solve the riddle and kill the thing the special way that it should have been killed when it was allegedly too tough, it still seems like they overcame a very powerful opponent through clever roleplaying rather than something that they would've just ganked from the beginning.
As always with stuff like this I'm not particularly sure if it's kosher to sort of use a monster's stats as it's in the games as guidelines like that rather than parameters. From a general standpoint are there any pitfalls to this and things I should avoid doing?
5
General Game Discussion / Re: Call of Cthulhu BRP Question
« on: September 14, 2017, 01:49:27 am »
Okay, I guess it's kind of a false alarm. Quickstart is in 7E and all the references for physical parameters are in 6E and stuff. 7E runs on 1d100, so I guess instead of limitting characters by giving them poor efficacy, it gives them pretty good efficacy with high chance to succeed, but puts a pretty hard limit on what you're doing by giving you the option of anything from 1-99% of possible mortal effectiveness at something. (I've yet to see a monster manual, or much stuff dealing with 7E monsters at all, so I have no idea what sort of stats you're supposed to deal with for actual superhumans. But I'm sure there's a metric for that somewhere.)
Seems to be a good game system for GMs who're godawful at remembering the more intricate rules when they're on the spot in real life. Being able to judge success and probability out of a hundred just makes me feel more willing to say "Y'know what? Damn the charts on door-kicking, gimme a strength roll and let's see where this plan goes."
Seems to be a good game system for GMs who're godawful at remembering the more intricate rules when they're on the spot in real life. Being able to judge success and probability out of a hundred just makes me feel more willing to say "Y'know what? Damn the charts on door-kicking, gimme a strength roll and let's see where this plan goes."
6
General Game Discussion / Call of Cthulhu BRP Question
« on: September 13, 2017, 02:48:59 pm »
Ooh, hey, it's me again. This time I have no idea what to do with the Call of Cthulhu system.
Quickstart says to put your stats in 80, 70, 60, 60, 50, 50, 50, and 40 if you don't want to bother with rolling, but when I put stuff into an autocalc sheet and looked for practical examples of what an "80 SIZ" person would look like, I came across forum threads saying it would be nucking futs for a person to be over like, 12 size unless they're immobily obese, and one GM tries not to let people put their education that far above 30 or 40 before things get "out of hand". Is there another system that people call 'Cthulhu'? Does Cthulhu seriously overhaul their numbers with every edition? Is the Quickstart supposed to just make your character a superhuman badass so you'll buy the full game, kinda like how CoD allegedly gives you hidden stats the first time you play the game so you win all the time? Or were they actually quoting from the size chart in terms of half/fifths for the sake of brevity?
Quickstart says to put your stats in 80, 70, 60, 60, 50, 50, 50, and 40 if you don't want to bother with rolling, but when I put stuff into an autocalc sheet and looked for practical examples of what an "80 SIZ" person would look like, I came across forum threads saying it would be nucking futs for a person to be over like, 12 size unless they're immobily obese, and one GM tries not to let people put their education that far above 30 or 40 before things get "out of hand". Is there another system that people call 'Cthulhu'? Does Cthulhu seriously overhaul their numbers with every edition? Is the Quickstart supposed to just make your character a superhuman badass so you'll buy the full game, kinda like how CoD allegedly gives you hidden stats the first time you play the game so you win all the time? Or were they actually quoting from the size chart in terms of half/fifths for the sake of brevity?
7
General Game Discussion / Re: Mafia?
« on: February 16, 2017, 10:21:52 pm »
I'm up for a game of mafia, and also down to play a game of mafia.
Also, why the hell does the Vampire Hunter look like some angry hillbilly, and the Vigilante looks like Blade? Shouldn't it be the other way around?
Also, why the hell does the Vampire Hunter look like some angry hillbilly, and the Vigilante looks like Blade? Shouldn't it be the other way around?
8
Community Conversation / Re: Community Conversation
« on: December 08, 2016, 05:02:22 pm »I've never seen a computer that couldn't extract a ZIP file . . . What are you using to post?
I'm using a regular computer, it just doesn't have Zip openers and I'm borrowing it for writing and schoolwork, so I don't want to download things on it simply because that's not something you just do on a guy's computer.
9
Community Conversation / Re: Community Conversation
« on: December 08, 2016, 01:01:49 pm »
https://boardgamegeek.com/boardgame/8279/death-angel
I think it's free... I want to read and run this as soon as I get on a computer that can open .zips!
I think it's free... I want to read and run this as soon as I get on a computer that can open .zips!
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Community Conversation / Re: Community Conversation
« on: December 05, 2016, 10:10:36 am »
if sex == consensual:
college = (3/2Exams + sqrt(alcohol))math.pi ** plotted_plants
elif sex == nonconsensual:
college = False
jail = True
(I might have been programming too much recently . . .)
This is some strange cross between pseudocode and python and it's making me sad and happy accordingly.
11
Community Conversation / Re: Community Conversation
« on: November 25, 2016, 10:58:22 pm »We are really excited about our new traditional and contemporary mix.
Sounds delicious! Terrible for your teeth, though.
12
Community Conversation / Re: Happy Hollidays ^v^
« on: November 25, 2016, 09:37:20 pm »If you enjoy tumors in your turkey all the power to you
Quite honestly, that's the best part. At the local Turkey farm, we just hack off the tumors big enough for a rotisserie and then graft the leftover skin back together so the Grocery Store'll take it. If a chick doesn't have some serious malignant cancer by the time its adult feathers start coming in, it's considered a runt.
13
Introductions / Re: Yo.
« on: November 17, 2016, 11:47:56 am »... The forums can get pretty bad.
I love 'em to death, but there's so much salt and bile that they started sending Nigerian prisoners and tanker trucks full of pepto bismol just to keep it from leaking out into space.
Not that bad actually, but it has a way of taking you by surprise sometimes.
14
Community Conversation / Re: Community Conversation
« on: November 16, 2016, 11:48:57 am »I've only played Revolution, so I don't have much info on how the other games played, nor am I hip to how the Great Wall acted clunky. What used to be so wrong with it? It's always been a life saver when playing on deity mode.
I don't know, because I never played with the Great Wall the first time around, I guess. According to the guy who was gushing over my shoulder as I played the game, the Great Wall is a more convenient option because now the game considers it a tile improvement, (as opposed to whatever it used to be?) and builders can just add more to it all over the place.
Speaking of Tile improvements, now you can make cities bigger on the map, which makes them more uber.
15
Community Conversation / Re: Community Conversation
« on: November 15, 2016, 01:20:09 pm »Anyone archive the phillia thread?
Was that the Danaos one, or did I miss something weird and hilarious?
16
Community Conversation / Re: Community Conversation
« on: November 15, 2016, 01:16:07 pm »Speaking of the civilization games, anybody get 6 yet? I've been playing revolution for 5+ years now, is 6 worth picking up?
As someone who has limited experience with a few Civ games, all I really know is that cultural victories are a thing, the Great Wall of China isn't as clunky to use anymore, and Teddy Roosevelt's back. I mean, the graphics are also pretty, and Harald Hardrada's voice is a joy to listen to as well. As far as Civ games go, it's more of the same, with bits and bobs added, removed, or "Optimized" in ways that might upset fans who prefer certain games or playstyles.
Also, as opposed to having one advisor for each subject, you only have one advisor for every subject, and she's a Greco-Roman lady with a vaguely Scottish accent.
18
Media & Mayhem / Re: Mayhem Thread
« on: September 28, 2016, 09:50:39 pm »
I've looked into Chinese Vampires some more ever since I started getting shit down for the spooky story contest. The whole sword-spell thing isn't quite so non-sequitur in the movie now that I know that a virgin boy's piss is known to Fark with Jiangshi and some other demons in Chinese folklore. Not as funny now that I know why the hell they did that, but I guess it's funnier knowing that that's an actual thing in demon combat. I mean, Fark crossbow bolts filled with innocent tears, right?
19
Community Conversation / Re: Community Conversation
« on: September 28, 2016, 02:04:32 pm »
Not to turn this into CYS Drama Mark IV, I just find it really funny how Rawfood McGoober thinks Kiel's mod problems were related to her Ninja Gaiden account being banned.
20
Community Conversation / Re: So I'm not dying!
« on: September 28, 2016, 02:02:28 pm »
"Are you sure this isn't cancer?" should be the name of a band. Or at least an album. Great to hear you're doing well.
21
Community Conversation / Re: Community Conversation
« on: September 09, 2016, 10:38:52 pm »Also Axiom should totally be made a mod too, as long as we're having opinions on this kind of thing. Sorry but she is so much classier than all the current ones put together, and good at shutting people up. (I think it's the avatar, it's intimidating.)
I really don't see what the big rush to be a mod is. It's not exactly like being elected Judge of the Mega City, in fact, it's quite a bit like getting sent into the wastes to give law back to the primitives and mutie scum that inhabit Cursed Earth.
22
Community Conversation / Re: Community Conversation
« on: September 09, 2016, 11:13:58 am »
I... I can't decipher the meaning of this post.
It hurts me.
23
Community Conversation / Re: Community Conversation
« on: September 08, 2016, 07:54:42 am »
Yeah, but this might be a Super-Ryder.
24
Community Conversation / Re: Community Conversation
« on: September 08, 2016, 07:35:07 am »
On another note, I swear the new Black-and-white picture Kingler has is Ryder.
It might be my racism against pretentious-looking white tweens all looking the same to me, but... Kingler looks like Ryder. Is this Ryder? Is this a thing now? Are we going to have three distinct Ryders?... Can I be wrong, please?
It might be my racism against pretentious-looking white tweens all looking the same to me, but... Kingler looks like Ryder. Is this Ryder? Is this a thing now? Are we going to have three distinct Ryders?... Can I be wrong, please?
25
Media & Mayhem / Re: Mayhem Thread
« on: September 07, 2016, 10:16:32 pm »Man, I really didnt want to spend time watching shit in college sent, but now I feel like I have to.
It's just one movie! Consider it a reward for passing your next final or something! Next time you have free time, right?
26
Media & Mayhem / Re: Mayhem Thread
« on: September 07, 2016, 09:58:05 pm »
I just started watching "Shaolin Vs. Evil Dead". I can't find anything in English, so I'm sort of just watching it without understanding anything and hoping I'll be able to derive the plot through the universal language of violence. I'm not exactly sure if it's related to THE Evil Dead, or if it's just a happy badly-translated coincidence, but it stars Gordon Liu, who's a bit like the Chinese Bruce Campbell, so it adds up well enough. It's got all the bizarre heroism of Captain Kronos and the batshit insane wonderfulness of Evil Dead and Army of Darkness, and I'm sure Gordon Liu is a very funny Ash or a very funny Kronos depending. He's got the presence of a man who's "serious" through even the thickest cheese, but he might just be written with a very dry sense of humor. I don't know, it's up to interpretation, the movie's still funny and awesome.
Anyway, it's about a Kung-Fu Wizard Doctor rustlin' his herd of enthralled vampires across the plains of maybe-but-it's-hard-to-tell Feudal China. He runs into a spooky town, and, despite the fact that noodles have already been made for him and his Vampire Ranchhands (Possibly his sons, I dunno.) Gordon immediately knows that some serious shit's going down when they enter the abandoned restaurant.
It turns out, it was actually all an illusion. The whole place is gray and abandoned, the noodles are bowls of worms, and the citizens who came out of nowhere and grabbed them are actually zombies. How does he figure this out? By telling his youngest ranchhand to piss on the floor and using it to cast a spell. By stabbing the piss-puddle with his enchanted wizard sword. I shit you not.
But these aren't just any zombies, these are Evil Dead zombies, which means they're actually demons in corpses. Some even turn on each other like Doom monsters! The trio of vampire ranchers battle these creatures by Kung-Fuing them and stamping their foreheads with soul balls, a process that sucks up the demons and sort of turns them off.
They also meet another Kung Fu Doctor Wizard, possibly an old rival, since he and Gandalf Liu seem to recognize each other, and the "plot" "thickens" further as it shows not only the conflict between Zombies and Shaolin Vampire-Cowboys, but also the conflict between the vampire cowboys and the other Kung Fu wizard and his student.
There's also a zombie dwarf who sabotages them by shoving the kung fu wizard's thralls and thus jostling the safety-dollars off from the vampire herd. The vampires try to poke the ranchers to death, and after all the vampires are rounded up again, the zombie dwarf politely apologizes and walks away casually. He shows up again, but he's usually more "Friendly Dead" than "Evil Dead". I can't understand any of the dialogue, so I'm just going to assume he's just being a dick and they can't spirit-ball him if he says sorry.
Interesting to watch, whether you can understand what they're saying or not, I'd give it a 6-7/10. If you have a spare hour and the ability to watch youtube, I'd recommend looking it up. I'd also reccommend looking up Captain Kronos Vampire Hunter, which is also unabashedly corny enough to be a good time and is also free on Youtube.
Anyway, it's about a Kung-Fu Wizard Doctor rustlin' his herd of enthralled vampires across the plains of maybe-but-it's-hard-to-tell Feudal China. He runs into a spooky town, and, despite the fact that noodles have already been made for him and his Vampire Ranchhands (Possibly his sons, I dunno.) Gordon immediately knows that some serious shit's going down when they enter the abandoned restaurant.
It turns out, it was actually all an illusion. The whole place is gray and abandoned, the noodles are bowls of worms, and the citizens who came out of nowhere and grabbed them are actually zombies. How does he figure this out? By telling his youngest ranchhand to piss on the floor and using it to cast a spell. By stabbing the piss-puddle with his enchanted wizard sword. I shit you not.
But these aren't just any zombies, these are Evil Dead zombies, which means they're actually demons in corpses. Some even turn on each other like Doom monsters! The trio of vampire ranchers battle these creatures by Kung-Fuing them and stamping their foreheads with soul balls, a process that sucks up the demons and sort of turns them off.
They also meet another Kung Fu Doctor Wizard, possibly an old rival, since he and Gandalf Liu seem to recognize each other, and the "plot" "thickens" further as it shows not only the conflict between Zombies and Shaolin Vampire-Cowboys, but also the conflict between the vampire cowboys and the other Kung Fu wizard and his student.
There's also a zombie dwarf who sabotages them by shoving the kung fu wizard's thralls and thus jostling the safety-dollars off from the vampire herd. The vampires try to poke the ranchers to death, and after all the vampires are rounded up again, the zombie dwarf politely apologizes and walks away casually. He shows up again, but he's usually more "Friendly Dead" than "Evil Dead". I can't understand any of the dialogue, so I'm just going to assume he's just being a dick and they can't spirit-ball him if he says sorry.
Interesting to watch, whether you can understand what they're saying or not, I'd give it a 6-7/10. If you have a spare hour and the ability to watch youtube, I'd recommend looking it up. I'd also reccommend looking up Captain Kronos Vampire Hunter, which is also unabashedly corny enough to be a good time and is also free on Youtube.
27
Community Conversation / Re: Community Conversation
« on: September 06, 2016, 10:00:12 pm »Did it involve tanks?
Yes. I was angry with Raven because of his tanks stories, and I wanted to read up on what I said before so I could build on what I said more constructively now that it looks like Raven's putting in much more effort. I don't want to be the villain Raven has to prove wrong, since Raven seems to have taken enough of what I said to heart to finish a reasonably sized game. He's more mature than before, and I wanna give him more mature criticism as a reward. When I check out his vampire story, I'd like every point I made to be fresh in my mind and see what he's done to improve, if anything, and give him a less negative appraisal of shit, as well as shit I think he could do to improve, since I also kind of left him hanging by pointing out all the shit that was wrong without telling him anything about improving.
28
Community Conversation / Re: Community Conversation
« on: September 06, 2016, 06:31:12 pm »Not sure, but if it was three or four month back, then I may have clipped it last week.
If you clipped Bucky's first "Call to Arms", it's definitely gone.
29
Community Conversation / Re: Community Conversation
« on: September 06, 2016, 04:50:45 pm »
Is the post where I blew up at Raven deleted? I was just cringing at the spelling errors in some of my bigger posts, and it didn't seem to be where I thought it was. I still get autocomplete suggestions my phone learned from the story he didn't read, though.
30
Media & Mayhem / Re: Mayhem Thread
« on: September 06, 2016, 04:08:28 pm »
There's more pages, that's just one you can download off the internet and print, apparently.
31
Media & Mayhem / Re: Mayhem Thread
« on: September 06, 2016, 02:43:04 pm »
@Mizal
@Iavtatus
There's a nice coloring book out there for the discerning crayon-user. You may be interested.
@Iavtatus
There's a nice coloring book out there for the discerning crayon-user. You may be interested.
32
Media & Mayhem / Re: Mayhem Thread
« on: September 01, 2016, 03:47:53 pm »Drats! I accidently purged my Character write-ups for this in the last forum clean-up, haha! (May have to delve the backup to get them back...)
The Rocky Horror Muppet Show
Dr. Teeth and The Electric Mayhem have been hired to play a gig at a convention deep in the English countryside at the castle of one Dr. Frank-N-Furter (a scientist). Kermit the Frog, Miss Piggy, Gonzo the Great, and Fozzie Bear are along for the ride, to help the band set up for the show; while Dr. Bunsen Honeydew and his faithful assistant Beaker have been invited to sit as ‘special guests’ on a scientific panel to be held during the con. Why anyone would hold a ‘Transylvanian Convention’ in the first place, much less use it as a discourse for scientific discussion, is anyone’s guess – but you got to admit, Dr. Teeth and The Electric Mayhem sound pretty sweet playing that ‘Let's Do the Time Warp, Again’ number they’ve been working on lately…
Pff. Nothing happy could possibly come out of that!
33
Media & Mayhem / Re: Mayhem Thread
« on: September 01, 2016, 03:46:41 pm »
Looks to me like Capybaras get all the pussy.
34
General Game Discussion / System or no system? If system, what system, why system, and how to system?
« on: August 31, 2016, 06:36:58 pm »
So, I've come up with an idea recently. I want to make a sort of multiplayer, tabletop "roguelike" that I plan on hosting here or some other place. The idea is, you're all conciousnesses trapped in an endless loop, and each of you enter your own dungeons, hidden from one another (Although there are some spells, potions and scenarios that allow you to enter the dungeons of other players.) the "IC" is what's OOC in most games. You'll encounter certain repeating themes and puzzles, which you may choose to help other players out with based on your experiences. You have to beat the dungeon (Descend X-number of floors in one go) to escape the loop.
Because of this aspect, I really, really want it to be a gamey game and not freeform, because not only will I probably run dry having to do all this myself based on fiat and "Yeah, I reckon ya could climb that!", but a lot of mechanics I'd like to implement involve things that are best implemented in strict mechanics and with numbers, I.E. finding out about who you were in a past life during questlines and such will give you a distinct advantage over the course of the game, (Being able to keep an item after death, finding loot you used to have, one permanent increase of your aspects, etc.) at the expense of a permanent, but perhaps less severe debuff. (You gain a personality flaw you had once, it takes a toll on your sanity, you may trigger Alien Hand Syndrome after critically failed rolls, etc.)
I want a lot of monsters to be something hard or costly enough that you want to avoid, outsmart, outmaneuver, or work around them, but not something that's blatantly impossible if you do decide to brute force it, and to be able to allow some playstyles that have gathered up the means over a suitable period of time to take them on and be rewarded for their dungeon crawling. Combat should be sustainable under the right circumstances, but the ability to battle with foes has to be earned, and being able to get the drop on something or avoid conflict altogether should be a reliable and much safer solution. I'd like combat to play a part, but be an occurrence you're excited or anxious about. The problem, I guess, would be making new character sheets after every death.
I'd like to randomly generate the structure (Not necessarily the content) of each floor with Donjon's thingymabobber, or another map generator, because this is a roguelike of sorts. Players can find maps in containers to tell where they are and what they haven't explored, and they'll also get a copy of the map with a log summarizing what they did every time they go down a floor.
To make character sheets quick and the game easier to get back into, I was thinking of dividing characters into two parts. One being who they are in the game's in-game: Starting new dungeons with a class system, like Nethack. These classes will have pre-made stats, and ideally it won't be impossible to tweak and manage your playstyle as the game progresses, but you would select certain classes for certain things as the game progresses. There would be different kinds of fighters, different kinds of investigators, and things built for the purpose of "I'd like to stockpile good loot so I can access it in a future life should I rediscover it." or "I'd like to fight the things so I can figure out the puzzles" or "I'd prefer to have more cerebral skills so I can investigate and learn important things for the next game". Players would also be able to create their own classes based on their wants and needs because... I'm not exactly the Romero Bros.
And the other being who the consciousnesses are, that they'll be rediscovering: Everybody submits a character with personality traits and flaws and a history, and they will be randomly assigned to other characters. Certain things in the game will be a Silent-Hill-reflection of aspects of the character that the consciousness is/was in the life they were in before they got trapped in the game.
I think that'd all be pretty fun, but I also play MDickie games, so fun is a foggy concept. My questions are as follows...
Am I doing something wrong/tedious from a game design standpoint?
Are there any tabletop systems that would facilitate this very well?... Or at all? I'm considering Call of Cthulhu since I'm somewhat familiar with it and I've been reading some of it recently. I've heard plenty of good things and bad things about Cthulhu, but I'm more than open to suggestions at this conceptual phase.
Does this seem at all interesting?
Because of this aspect, I really, really want it to be a gamey game and not freeform, because not only will I probably run dry having to do all this myself based on fiat and "Yeah, I reckon ya could climb that!", but a lot of mechanics I'd like to implement involve things that are best implemented in strict mechanics and with numbers, I.E. finding out about who you were in a past life during questlines and such will give you a distinct advantage over the course of the game, (Being able to keep an item after death, finding loot you used to have, one permanent increase of your aspects, etc.) at the expense of a permanent, but perhaps less severe debuff. (You gain a personality flaw you had once, it takes a toll on your sanity, you may trigger Alien Hand Syndrome after critically failed rolls, etc.)
I want a lot of monsters to be something hard or costly enough that you want to avoid, outsmart, outmaneuver, or work around them, but not something that's blatantly impossible if you do decide to brute force it, and to be able to allow some playstyles that have gathered up the means over a suitable period of time to take them on and be rewarded for their dungeon crawling. Combat should be sustainable under the right circumstances, but the ability to battle with foes has to be earned, and being able to get the drop on something or avoid conflict altogether should be a reliable and much safer solution. I'd like combat to play a part, but be an occurrence you're excited or anxious about. The problem, I guess, would be making new character sheets after every death.
I'd like to randomly generate the structure (Not necessarily the content) of each floor with Donjon's thingymabobber, or another map generator, because this is a roguelike of sorts. Players can find maps in containers to tell where they are and what they haven't explored, and they'll also get a copy of the map with a log summarizing what they did every time they go down a floor.
To make character sheets quick and the game easier to get back into, I was thinking of dividing characters into two parts. One being who they are in the game's in-game: Starting new dungeons with a class system, like Nethack. These classes will have pre-made stats, and ideally it won't be impossible to tweak and manage your playstyle as the game progresses, but you would select certain classes for certain things as the game progresses. There would be different kinds of fighters, different kinds of investigators, and things built for the purpose of "I'd like to stockpile good loot so I can access it in a future life should I rediscover it." or "I'd like to fight the things so I can figure out the puzzles" or "I'd prefer to have more cerebral skills so I can investigate and learn important things for the next game". Players would also be able to create their own classes based on their wants and needs because... I'm not exactly the Romero Bros.
And the other being who the consciousnesses are, that they'll be rediscovering: Everybody submits a character with personality traits and flaws and a history, and they will be randomly assigned to other characters. Certain things in the game will be a Silent-Hill-reflection of aspects of the character that the consciousness is/was in the life they were in before they got trapped in the game.
I think that'd all be pretty fun, but I also play MDickie games, so fun is a foggy concept. My questions are as follows...
Am I doing something wrong/tedious from a game design standpoint?
Are there any tabletop systems that would facilitate this very well?... Or at all? I'm considering Call of Cthulhu since I'm somewhat familiar with it and I've been reading some of it recently. I've heard plenty of good things and bad things about Cthulhu, but I'm more than open to suggestions at this conceptual phase.
Does this seem at all interesting?
35
Community Conversation / Re: Meteor Showers!
« on: August 12, 2016, 01:19:43 am »
I think we're scheduled for regular showers tonight, unfortunately...
36
General Game Discussion / Re: 3J Forum Game?
« on: August 03, 2016, 10:37:52 pm »
Are we to assume that similar specific historical-political events happened over the course of this world's history?
I.E. There were a lot of singular glorified and vilified world leaders coming out of WWII, there was alternate-universe weed, alien-earth-monster sex and slightly different Beatles during the Proxy War? Or did different things happen entirely? I had a bizarrely specific idea for a controversey that involves an IRL parallel to history.
I.E. There were a lot of singular glorified and vilified world leaders coming out of WWII, there was alternate-universe weed, alien-earth-monster sex and slightly different Beatles during the Proxy War? Or did different things happen entirely? I had a bizarrely specific idea for a controversey that involves an IRL parallel to history.
37
General Game Discussion / Re: 3J Forum Game?
« on: August 02, 2016, 11:02:58 am »
Time to get out your hype trombones!
38
Community Conversation / Re: Community Conversation
« on: August 01, 2016, 04:46:35 pm »
Can anybody explain Pathfinder Game-Building for dummies to me? I have some foggy understanding of how it works, (and by "Foggy" I mean, "I just have ideas of what I want to try to do, and I roll dice whenever the GM tells me to".) but I'd like to know how to get a better idea of its workings, so I don't do things (as) stupid in-game, and I can suggest races/classes/puzzles and things in a savvy way next time I get invited to a brainstorming session. (It feels a lot better to say, "Here's something we could do!" rather than "Could we do this?")
39
Media & Mayhem / Re: Pokemon Go
« on: July 24, 2016, 10:22:45 pm »Every time Ozzy was in battle, I OHKO'd him.
So I think I've proven my point when I said:
Well. Yeah. Your entire team was made of his counters, and you challenged another of my pokemon that wasn't countering anything but your "secret" 3rd. Of course you won with your doubletype legendary.
My lvl 100 Arcanine can take your entire team by herselfYour overgrown corgi mongrel is nothing before the might of Team Dunsparce!
40
Media & Mayhem / Re: Pokemon Go
« on: July 23, 2016, 06:23:44 pm »No.
You un-jinxed it by not adding Ozzy.
On the contrary, Ozzy is so good that they would've beat you harder. It wasn't jinxed, it was just a poorly made sweeping-based team and Ozzy is not a miracle worker.
41
Media & Mayhem / Re: Pokemon Go
« on: July 23, 2016, 12:26:28 pm »I won in every legit match that had Ozzy in it.
The second version may as well have had Ozzy in it, I didn't even need to get a third guy out.
42
Media & Mayhem / Re: Pokemon Go
« on: July 23, 2016, 12:29:32 am »Lol u got fokin rekt
Twice.
You seem to be leaving out the three times that I defeated you in glorious combat. You literally couldn't even utilize a robot army against a couple of puppies.
Plus there were those other times I beat you in not-so-glorious combat, like I did with the frog army.
43
Media & Mayhem / Re: Pokemon Go
« on: July 22, 2016, 11:26:07 am »REALLY? ACTUALLY:Fine then, I can still attack the Fark out of you!... What do I put in the abilities section if all my pokemon are from before abilities were invented?
http://pokemonshowdown.com
FITE ME
3v3
Also, you have no idea how hard Luca and Rocky IV would beat you if you tried that Flinchlock shit.
44
Media & Mayhem / Re: Pokemon Go
« on: July 21, 2016, 10:43:12 pm »You wanna fokin go, m8?!
I'll take ya down I swear on me mum!
Yeah! Hook your DS up to my Gameboy Color and I'll kick your ass like it's never been kicked before!
45
Media & Mayhem / Re: Pokemon Go
« on: July 21, 2016, 10:09:48 pm »My Lv 100 Lucario could easily beat ya Dumbsparce.
Probably my level 60-something Hitmonchan as well.
My Dunsparce could easily Rage and flinchlock your blue furry porn star to death. Failing that, my level 70 feraligatr would leave them both with empty ribcages, because I gave him like, 80 Proteins. He was oneshotting level 40 gravellers with slash way back when he himself was level 40, and rock-types are supposed to be resistant to normal-type moves! Two best pokemon in the game, I could beat anyone with them.
Hell, if you sent out Hitmonchan first, I could just spam Rage over and over again, and when he's pwned, he'd have gathered up enough momentum to onehit your thunder-thigh ed bunny monster. Yes, I'm assuming Dunsparce could take everything Chan could dish out, but I'm willing to bet 300-something HP and a berry is enough to absorb anything the defense-based variant of an already pretty lame evolution chain could possibly dish out.
Dunsparce is best. He'll send your dolphin-faced sonic ripoff straight back to deviantart where he belongs!
46
Media & Mayhem / Re: Pokemon Go
« on: July 21, 2016, 03:47:24 pm »He looks like a squashed moldy banana.
You heathen, he's a goddamn pancake fish with a drill on his tail!
47
Media & Mayhem / Re: Pokemon Go
« on: July 21, 2016, 03:20:46 pm »Wait, Dunsparce is your favorite pokemon?Clearly. They're the best goddamn pokemon in the game. My first starter makes a very close second, but he was only level 67 at the time.
48
Media & Mayhem / Re: Pokemon Go
« on: July 20, 2016, 03:25:21 pm »
Yes! I may grind up these disgusting birds and turn them into candy-flavored poultry meatballs! This game is now slightly better!
One day I shall zerg the gyms to death with an army of evolved sky-vermin! What was the stupid theme about pokemon? Raising your favorite ones with love and care in order to succeed? That's bullshit. Forget the time that little Sentinel loved Ozymandias the Dunsparce so much that he became a level 100 murder monster who beat the elite four almost singlehandedly. That's not the point of pokemon. Pokemon go is all about showing off the pokemon you like to your friends, and then systematically murdering all of the ones you hate so you can turn them into Soylent Brown.
One day I shall zerg the gyms to death with an army of evolved sky-vermin! What was the stupid theme about pokemon? Raising your favorite ones with love and care in order to succeed? That's bullshit. Forget the time that little Sentinel loved Ozymandias the Dunsparce so much that he became a level 100 murder monster who beat the elite four almost singlehandedly. That's not the point of pokemon. Pokemon go is all about showing off the pokemon you like to your friends, and then systematically murdering all of the ones you hate so you can turn them into Soylent Brown.
49
Media & Mayhem / Re: Pokemon Go
« on: July 20, 2016, 10:16:41 am »^You should write Cracked.com articles SentP, haha!
I do get into this weird phase semi-annually where I seriously consider joining cracked or some comedy or bloggy website for a while, but then I realize I have to write lists in order to get people's attention, and that puts me off it. And then, whenever I have an idea for a list, and I really feel like I'm ready to make lists in which every item is unclickable clickbait, I go to Cracked, and I check out some of their lists, and realize "Oh, wait a second, I'm not sure I want to enter this part of the market if media has evolved to the point where ridiculous lists like '4 simple reasons why it sucks to be in a self-mutilating racist death cult' and 'a point-by-point thesis regarding all the sex our writers allegedly have that our audience will probably never have' have become the standard of literary entertainment! This kind of thing just invokes Moby Dick sentences!"
...The appeal just always finds a way of dying on me.
50
Media & Mayhem / Re: Pokemon Go
« on: July 20, 2016, 04:29:26 am »
On another note, what flavor is pikachu candy? I'm guessing it would taste like a lemon warhead, but there's orange stripes in it, and that just throws me the Fark off.